i don't see what anyone could see in anyone else but you

bring on the new year. its crazy to try an reflect on an entire year i think. so much happens. so much changes. i like to think that i've changed quite a bit. my life definitely has. i'm curious to see whats ahead for next year.

oh, and everyone everywhere should go see Juno. it's such a beautiful movie. i just might see it again. i just got the soundtrack and it's equally as amazing. what are you waiting for?

here is the church and here is the steeple
we sure are cute for two ugly people
i don't see what anyone could see in anyone else but you
you're always trying to keep it real
and now i'm in love with how you feel
i don't see what anyone could see in anyone else but you

*merry christmas*

the absolute best part of this holiday is being around family. my family is so amazing, its been a blast hanging out with my brothers again, being goofy and laughing until my stomach hurts. my sister is in town and its always wonderful to see her. my parents have been great, and they love laughing at me because i asked for very practical gifts this year like my awesome new swiffer! aunts, uncles, cousins galore! my family is so big, and it keeps on growing. amber is two now and so talkative. she also enjoys helping me do the dishes :]

hope everyone reading had an amazing holiday with their loved ones <3

isn't she adorable?

:]

like a waterfall in slow motion

up and down, up and down, up and down. my days are a roller coaster of mixed feelings and emotions and i'm striving so hard to gain some stability. but just when i think i have it something or someone has to come and remind me of that thing i wish i could forget. i've become a master of portraying a calm individual, its weird that i even know what one looks like. i wish it wasn't so cold. i wish a lot of things, actually. music is my savior, when i can't get the words out. somehow i always find the perfect song to summarize everything i wanted to say but never could put my thoughts together enough to say them out loud. Feist says it so beautifully and effortlessly. the journal that i write it, for the things i can't say here, has many pages full of song lyrics. including these:

there's a limit to your love
like a waterfall in slow motion
like a map with no ocean
there's a limit to your love
your love your love your love

i love i love i love
this dream of going upstream
i love i love i love
the trouble that you give me
i know i know i know
that only i can save me
i'll go i'll go i'll go
out on the road.

life goes on.

so i'm back at home. being with my friends and family has been exactly what i needed. there is so much love here. hard times definitely make you appreciate the wonderful ones. putting things into perspective is what i've been trying to accomplish, and i think i'm getting there. it is fine, everything is fine. life goes on and everything is getting back to normal. i knew all along what was best for me, and now that it's finally in motion its scary, but i know everything will turn out. i am very aware. more aware than i've been in a long time. i finished my painting, and i think i'll keep it.

it's getting colder.

its definitely december. although the weather hasn't been too terribly awful, only a few rainy days, it definitely feels like winter. its cold outside, and all i want to do is hibernate but i hate being inside, alone with my thoughts. i've been thinking again. too much for my own good, as per usual. the doubts are growing, snowballing even, and the more i think, the more i'm alone with myself, the bigger they get. it would take such little effort to make them go away, but for some reason i rely on someone else to do it for me. its a never-ending cycle of self-sabotage that i'm constantly struggling to break. they make it look so easy, why can't i be like that? i can at least pretend for now.

where does the time go?

hello december! what a crazy ride this quarter has been. i'd like to take a moment and reflect on the past few months here in Davis. i have definitely overcome some stressful challenges. i'm finally getting back on track in the financing department. i've resolved old credit issues from when my wallet was stolen in May (yes, i procrastinate). i've met some amazing new people and have grown so close to my roommates, closer than i ever thought in the short time we've lived together. i made it through my first quarter (well almost, finals are next week, yikes!) and i'm feeling good about my grades. i survived my first couple months away from home and i've never felt this good about life before. i feel like it's been such an eye-opener, and that i still have a lot to learn in this journey.

now on to the future! i've got even more amazing things to look forward to. classes next quarter are going to be insane, definitely a step up from the ones i took this quarter. i'm preparing myself for a long quarter of hibernation with my books. on top of a tough curriculum, i also scored an awesome internship! every friday morning i'll spend four hours working in a dental office in west sacramento and i am so excited. i worked in a dental office for a few months in high school but had to quit because out of my three jobs at the time, it was the most impractical one for my schedule. this is going to be an amazing opportunity and i'm going to take as much from it as i possibly can.

and of course i still take a few moments to get out my creativeness that builds up each week. music is inspiring me in a big way these days, and i haven't started my big collage piece yet but i did start a smaller project last night. it's a new painting inspired by a death cab for cutie song that makes me think of a certain someone. hopefully i'll finish it sometime this week.

home sweet home.

it was so nice to be back home. like a mini-vacation from life. i get to leave all my troubles behind. thanksgiving was a blast, my family is amazing. my little niece is getting so big, she talks so much and is quite the attitudy judy these days. it was wonderful to see so many friends from back home, even if it was for just a short time. lots of smiles and laughs, and being comfortable. i feel like this was just a preview for events to come, because christmas is right around the corner. the countdown begins all over again, just get through these next few weeks. until then, its back to telephone conversations and sweet text messages.

hair cuts: the ultimate procrastination tool.

so the other day my roommate and i decided to cut my hair. our goal was to make it look like Elliott's from Scrubs. we were trying anything and everything so that we didn't have to study! here's the outcome:
Chelsea rules!

sneak peak.

ok, so midterms aren't quite over yet, but yesterday i was so burnt out, i needed an outlet! i started sketching out this painting i want to do. it's inspired by all my favorite music artists at the moment. i can't wait to get some new canvas and to start playing!

and this is a song i can't stop listening to.
'Gravity/Grace' by Crime in Stereo

like spelling it with a "z" makes it any better!

ohhh man, i just laughed until i could no longer breathe. it's around 2am and my roommates and i are all up, definitely not studying, definitely being extremely giddy to the point where everything is hilarious. midterms tend to make us a little crazy.
i can't wait for thanksgiving! midterms will be over, i'll get to see my family and friends back home, and hello leftovers! then maybe i'll have a little time on my hands to start this art project thats been stirring in my head. these are the images inspiring me lately.
alright, time to try to get some sleep. no guarantees though :)

holler at my IT girls!

after receiving a VERY hilarious phone call from Dr. Sean McNamara and Dr. Christian Troy, courtesy of miss Nancie, i decided to give a little shout out to all my amazing IT girls. you all have no idea how important you are to me, all of your calls and letters mean the world to me and i love you all so much!

Wendy, it was so great talking to you the other night. i miss our chats so much, i am so fortunate to have a great friend like you in my life that i can turn to whenever i need to. i seriously do thank my lucky stars to have you in my life :)
Nancie, you have become like a second mother to me. from the early days at the beehive when you wanted to do anything and everything to help me out, even getting me a fabulous hand bag for prom, i've always appreciated everything you've done for me. i feel extremely blessed to have a wonderful person like you looking out for me.
Daniela, i can't even tell you how happy i am when i get to see you. you're little emails here and there make me feel so special, i really miss seeing your happy face every week! you're such an amazing woman, if i live my life half to the extent that you have i'll know i did something right. you're such an inspiration, and i am so grateful to have you in my life.
Tabitha and Laura, i have no pictures with you! we must do something about this asap! you both mean so much to me, and i'm so proud that you've become part of the MDW team. thank you both so much for always supporting me and being there for me. i know i can always count on you for advice, and of course a good laugh! Sharon Fletcher! i also have no pictures with you so if you got 'em, send 'em over! your emails are so comforting, it definitely means a lot to me that you take time to write me every once in a while.

Sheri, i don't know if you're calling yourself an IT girl but you definitely are in my book. you have given me so many amazing opportunities. i am so lucky to have stumbled across you and your wonderful store. you were so welcoming and i really felt like we had a special bond there towards the end of our fabulous journey together. i appreciate everything you have done for me, you have been so very supportive and it means the world to me.

words cannot describe how much i love all of the wonderful women that have come into life because of our common love for the arts. i think this bond that we have in incredibly special and will be there for always. i can't wait until the next time i get to see each of you, i miss you all with my whole heart. i love you guys! i'm ending on an incredibly funny note. this is a card miss wendy and miss nancie gave to me at my farewell get together at My Daughters Wish.
on the inside it says, "it's sort of a shame, though. i was about to make you some macaroni and cheese... yummmm.... cheese. but go."
hah!

no way november ...whutt?

lately i've been obsessed with the ellen degeneres show! haha. i can't believe it's already november. what's even more shocking is that i just signed up for next quarter's classes! everything moves so fast here. i've only lived here for two months but it seems so much longer than that. i'm almost approaching my next round of midterms, yikes! i have been keeping a healthy balance of work and play though, i've lots going on in the painting department of my room these days. i can't wait for the next few weeks to fly by, i'm really looking forward to thanksgiving. because then before i know it it'll be winter break. i'm so excited for my classes next quarter, i'm taking intro to ecology, systemic physiology and physics. it'll be a nice change of scenery i think. lets just hope i don't get too distracted at my friend chris' house playing guitar hero 3!

happy halloween!

what a fun weekend. it was exactly what i needed after a harsh week of midterms (did i mention my 94% on my statistics exam? yeah!) never mind i had a six page paper due monday, i went down to santa cruz to celebrate halloween. with a very last minute costume i paraded through the street with hulk hogan, jesus, and a bunch of raccoons. my friends are amazing, i can't believe how fast time flew, but it was a very necessary get together :)

with sara and sheri
travis was an awesome hulk hogan!
sheri did an excellent job being tim
i was a substitute teacher.
like the paper airplane?

midterms!

aaah. what a crazy week. i'm so happy to be done with my first round of midterms. now i can sit back and relax. kind of. the quarter is picking up, so from here on out it's "get serious" time. after finishing my genetics midterm i decided to let my built up creative energy take form in some new art pieces for my apartment. it was a much needed painting session after a crazy hectic week of studying studying studying. i've been doing a lot of journal writing lately. there is a lot going on in my head, way too much thinking. way more than i'm used to. at least i'm coming to some good conclusions.

life in davis

A lot of people have been asking me lately about how I'm liking my new life in Davis. To put it quite simply, life is amazing. The weeks are crazy and the weekends are crazier. It's such a different pace for me, but I'm loving every second of it. I've got my first round of midterms next week and I'm feeling good about them. The weeks go by so quickly, I'm already starting to think about which classes I want to take next quarter.

The main reason for my relaxed state of mind is mainly my wonderful roommates. I really did luck out, I got some of the coolest girls I've ever met all living in one apartment with me. Adee is such a sweetheart. She is on the Davis gymnastics team and always knows where the fun sports events are. She talks to her parents everyday studies all the time. She is very motivated and I totally admire that in her, she does so much, I would never be able to keep up. Monica is awesome, she is such a free spirit. She has a job on campus so she is always at school. She has great taste in music and she embraces life with such a charismatic attitude that puts light in her eyes. She is always smiling and always positive, which is extremely nice to be around. Chelsea is the wild child of the bunch. She is very energetic, always doing something. She has a crazy school schedule so she's always in and out throughout the day. She has a huge network of friends and hates staying home on the weekends, so by the time we're all exhausted from the school week she has plenty of options for fun times. She is goal oriented and a hard worker. Our paths cross many times during the day as we are all on different schedules, but at the end of the week days we all take a break from life and sit around the TV in our pajamas and watch Scrubs. These ladies have made it SO EASY for me to come blindly into a new town and fit right in like I've been here from the beginning. They are so welcoming and so comforting, it really makes this place feel like home. I especially love when Monica comes home and greets us with, "Hello family."


Monica, Chelsea, Adee and I

take note.

so i decided to change up the title of my blog. i think this one fits better :)

always coming back home to you

i can't believe it's already thursday. i feel like it was just yesterday that i was bathing in musical magic at the Atmosphere show. every weekend is a new, fun adventure for me. i went home again, it seems i can't stay away for too long. these were special circumstances though. my little brother just turned sixteen. where does the time go? he's such a little man now, and i can't even really say little because he's taller than me. he has grown up into such a wonderful person, i am so proud of him in every way imaginable.

friday night i went to the Gilman to see an amazing band Modern Life is War play. i have a love/hate relationship with hardcore shows. i love the music, i love how passionate it can be, and i love how it can give me goosebumps. i hate being small, and a girl, in a room full of big guys that go crazy and make it so that i have to stand in the back of the room so that i don't get elbowed in the face, stage-dived on, or slammed against the stage. i know i can't complain if i'm in the splash zone, but sometimes i just want to be completely absorbed in the music in that moment without having to guard my face from two-steppers.

saturday was better. we spent all day at the beach in santa cruz. riding roller coasters, eating ridiculously greasy food, and playing in the sand. i borrowed my step-dad's camera and my goodness i must have it. the pictures were amazing. check them out:
helloooo scrapbooking material! after the beach we went to see my *favorite* hip/hop artist Atmosphere. that show was so amazing, probably in my top five shows of all time. the music is inspiring on so many levels. it was perfect.

also, i saw Across The Universe, that new movie with all the Beatles music. that movie was so intense, i need to see it again. it was amazing the way they put the music into real life situations, and the visual effects were perfect. it really made me think about a lot of things. i highly recommend it.

alright, enough procrastination. time to go read about genetics!

sleep.

what a crazy fun weekend. i swear, every time i come back to Walnut Creek for some scrapbook therapy i get a surge of creativity like never before. i cannot even express in words how wonderful this weekend was. Renee the most awesomest girl ever is in town! i don't think i've ever talked so much in my life, we had lots to catch up on and i cherished every second i spent with her and kicking myself because we didn't even get a picture together! seeing my friends, coworkers, loved ones, even if it was for a second it was just what i needed to gain some creative ambition. it was such a screamin' good time, i completely lost my voice. it may be due to lack of sleep in recent days, but this weekend was nothing short of amazing. anyway, my eyes are straining to stay open, i had to post a few pictures of my newest notebook for school. dream land here i come :)

My first baseball game!

I know I know, I'm 21 years old and up until last night had never been to a baseball game! It was tons of fun, minus the cold factor. I went with my roommates Monica and Adee, and their friend Jordan. It was pretty exciting, it's funny how you can be a non-sports fan one moment, and then you get there and you're clapping and yelling and on the edge of your seat when the bases are loaded. The A's lost to the Mariners, but it was still a great game. Turns out, Jordan is sharing an apartment with my friend Nick from Pleasant Hill! It's such a small world, talk about a crazy coincidence. I think this is the start of some lovely new friendships here in Davis :)

working for the weekend

Oh what a fun little weekend! This past weekend was my "MDW moving weekend." I went back home to help out my favorite gals move our precious scrapbook store from Walnut Creek to Pleasant Hill. Ohhh the memories. As crazy as it sounds, it was so nice to get back to work. I miss being busy all the time! My weekend was completely full of working, hang outs, and awesome shows. Sunday night I went to see my friend's band This Time Next Year play in Concord, it was such a good show, I love seeing those guys play. I am so excited about all the good shows coming up in the next few months, and actually having time to go to them. It seems things are looking up over here, there is still a lot I need to figure out, but I have definitely stopped stressing over it. Here are some pictures from my weekend at MDW, be sure to check out the new space, they're open tomorrow!